A little off the path

So today has caused me to contemplate my relationship with God. For those of you who truly know me, you know that I tend to be a pendulum in this arena. I believe in God, but have a hard time with the formal religious beliefs. I like the liturgical year in Christianity, there is a rythym and flow that gives me a sense of peace. Other religions also hold beliefs that ring true to me and the sense I have in the core of my being is God is God.

I miss time spent daily with God. I miss the community of worshipers and time spent in prayer. I miss belonging to a church family. So why do I let it go? If I had an answer I would fix it. I tend to lean on God in the dark times. I still remember to give thanks and bask in the wonder He has put here for us, but know that this is not "all in."

So how often do I pray for helps for me but ignore praying for others? (I do pray for others but not in a daily mindful way.) I have friends whose faith inspires me daily to work on this relationships. Strong women and men whose faith is evident in how they are in the world. Yet, still I don't walk the way I wish.

For those of you so inclined, pray for me, my family, and God's will (which is always the scariest prayer for me, for His will not mine) and His blessing. And help me as I work to get back to where in my heart I want to be but keep getting distracted by ...look, yellow bird!

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (New International Version)

 ⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
   whose confidence is in him.
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water
   that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
   its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
   and never fails to bear fruit.”

Well, you'll be closer when I move to Australia...

This was my dad's reaction when I told him the news. Obviously it went better than anticipated and surprisingly well taken. Of course this is now the third mention of Australia.We shall see how that turns out. Of course he told me Hong Kong might have been better but he was okay with my choice.

Of course then the inevitable questions of what about Ka.  We shared she would be staying in the house and all was right in the world. So now we just wait for papers to be sent and returned and e-tickets to be granted. I am not to the place where this is real yet. Perhaps by July I will begin to feel the weight of this decision. We shall see.

The waiting is the hardest part.

So we plan to finally tell Dad about the news. Sunday is D-day! I know my mind will not change based on his reaction but it doesn't make it any easier. I know he must be lonely without my mom but he does need to understand that K and I are ready for some adventure.

Speaking of adventure, we are considering our Christmas plans and our summer plans already. Christmas is a a mystery, I think we will decide based on cost. I will no longer have traditional holidays anyway. (Maybe for the the grandkids...) But this is my AWESOME for summer. Kr is getting married in August so we will fly home. then we will look for a repositioning cruise to Europe and then train trip to Turkey (or somewhere) then a flight home. I have always wanted to "backpack" across Europe and this will be the "mid-life crisis" version. Will it work out, who knows, but what the heck! So what would you do? Where would you go? I just want to see all the things I haven't so that is a big bunch of choice.

Wish us luck for Sunday! 

Authentication Begins!

So off went the documents to Tallahassee and Saint Paul for step one in the authentication process. Now the wait for their return begins. I am hoping they are back within the next couple of weeks so that I can get them to Pro_Ex for the next steps by June 1st. That should have everything done before I leave on August ??. I read about all my fellow teachers beginning to pack and I look at the lack of stuff to pack. I suppose some shoes could go in the duffel but so far all I can say i am taking are some shoes and some books, maybe towels.

I wish that time would both speed up and slow down....


The good news for the week is that Kr will postpone her "real" wedding until next August and I will get to be a part of it. That made me sooooo happy, even though I know she is a little disappointed.  It ill be awesome!

I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future. ~David Gerrold

So with this in mind, the process of letting go has been bittersweet. Yesterday K and I went through 3 tubs of correspondence that spanned our 25 year relationship. From notes passed in high school to letters to Korea and beyond.

I guess what amazes me the most, is even though neither of us believe we have changed we have. From the first fits of infatuation to the enduring love I know we have there have been many bumps (boulders, black ice, etc) in the road. I think when you have longevity you can better see the minuscule nature of the fight that occurs today. i hope both Kr and Ka can navigate the roads they are both on. Compromise is never easy but it is necessary for  progress.

Most of what we went through is destined for the burn pile. Somethings are too personal to leave to be sorted by others. We did save a few things here and there for later perusal, but most items needed to be filed only mentally.

Off to continue to cull the wheat from the chaff (this is really hard when it comes to books). I wonder how many books = 50LBS?
R

It all started with an email

So I decided to start looking for something new to do as my current job was no longer meeting my needs and desire for professional growth. (Read I needed a change and my back really hurts from being parked in a chair 12 hours a day). On a whim, I signed up for the statewide teacher job list. Pretty cool site with lots of listings in one place.

Out of the blue I get the email pictured above and laugh, "Where's that, um, don't think so." But I don't delete it. Now for those of you who do not believe in divine intervention, you must understand that 90% of my email is read then deleted as to try and cut down on the electronic clutter. Plus, I was pretty sure getting K back to the desert wasn't happening!

Fast forward a few days and I happen to bring this up with K. As we discussed it, we decided that "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and I applied. I received a call and a phone interview and an invitation to interview in person for the Abu Dhabi position AND a Hong Kong position.

After much debate, deliberation, soul searching, it came down to 800SQFT. could we manage living in a shoe box. Uhhh...no.

And what do i know of Abu Dhabi (More than I thought thanks to Cindi reminding me of Garfield!)



But of course I went into full Tara ResearchGirl mode. So now I will be sharing things with you as I prepare for my journey. Let's see what happens when ducks are never in a row, their just askew!